The last few weeks we have been jumping onto these monsters. This week we still are. Some come with warning, others  don’t …

“Wake up Marcus” WAKE UP MARCUS. “She’s Gone, Marcus, She’s GONE!. She was shaking me frantically; it was about 3 o clock in the morning.

I love you grandma! We didn’t throw that word around much in my house but I knew how she felt about me. She could have been fooling me but she made me feel as if I was the world to her. She was a short petite woman with a soft pecan brown complexion. Her hands were strong and rugged from years of child-bearing and farm work, but to me they were soft and comforting. Her hair was a mixture of gray and black, it was beginning to thin and the grey was seeming to win the battle of dominance. On Sundays I would awaken to her telling me to get up for Sunday school. The night prior she would always read the Sunday school lesson with me. I honestly can’t remember a time when we didn’t. On Sundays she used to put on her favorite purple dress, her purple “grown woman” heels and her white pearls. I thought she was beautiful.  She didn’t wear makeup and to top it off she put on a short curly wig. “My Grandma”, I though with pride.

Warm summer days, I remember getting off the bus [that wretched place (part2)] and walking into the house, where she would greet me from her favorite chair, I responded with a simple, “Hay”. Well, one day she decided to correct  me.  As usual, I stormed in the door, and said,” Hay!” She replied sharply, “Hay, Hay back! Now stick your head in a paper sack!” Well, that took me by surprised and I was silent for a moment. She told me to say, “Hay, How are you or Good evening.” I still do this till this day.

Conception: Unwanted Surprise

The year is 2001. I am in the 7^th grade.  I live in Morris, GA. The country life is all I knew.  I am in my room asleep. I didn’t get under the covers that night because it is hot. “Wake up Marcus” WAKE UP MARCUS. “She’s Gone, Marcus, She’s GONE! I woke up. I am confused and startled. I see my aunt from next  door standing over me crying. I don’t know what’s going on. She repeats she’s GONE! I get out of my bed and stumble as I try to walk forward. I follow her out into the hallway. The next room is the dining area. I stop before getting into the room. My breathing unconsciously gets heavier. My heart rate seems to be going 300 miles per hour. I see her in her favorite chair. Her head is slumped over. Her eyes are closed. I look around and everyone is crying. Mentally, I am trying to think of every possible explanation but the obvious. Reality is fighting to set in, but with every  ounce of strength in me, I fight back. Tears begin to fall without me even thinking about crying, reality won, she is …. She is … she is …. DEAD… My grandmother is dead. My world chatters instantly, my future, my goals, my dreams all vanish within moments. My security, my confidante is gone.

I am hurt, I am confused. Death happens to other people but not to her.  Surely, God being [all-knowing] knows how much I need her here with me… doesn’t He…? I wanted to make her proud; I wanted her to see me grow up. I wanted her to be there when I graduated.  … I just want her here. I am selfish, but I don’t care… she was mine.

Snapshot: I am in an airplane and the hatch is open ready for me to jump out! Life is behind me and it tells me that I will push you when you are ready. I am confident in that because when I AM READY, then I will jump. Without any announcement, Life pushes me out of the plane. As I fall, I’m thinking …. “I wasn’t ready YET! … I WASN’T ready YET!  But Life doesn’t care if you were ready…

In the midst of living life; I have learned that it will throw everything and anything at you! Sadly, most of the time it comes without warning. The only thing that God has given us power to control is our response. How we respond to the “unwanted surprises” is what dictates how our life unfolds. Here are the FACTS: Life will give you LEMONS… but take those lemons and start a multibillion dollar company and call it “The Lemons of Life, LLC”. The thing about Monsters is that they will come and go. It’s almost like clockwork; a new monster [struggle] is born unto us each day. I’m learning that they may not go away just when I want them to, but God is using the monsters to PERFECT greatness in me.

Thank you so much for reading. As we go into the New Year remember, “Nothing changes physically, until it changes mentally!”

I am Marc Coley & [ I am Finally Unleashed]
Follow me on twitter @marcunleashed